Recently, I was asked by my daughter Daniela, "do spiritual people have nervous breakdowns?". The reason was that she was having a really tough time and the inevitable thought came up that while working on our advancement, our evolution, processing negativity, inspiring and generating positivity, we "should not" fall into really tough emotional, mental and sometimes physical situations, events or energies.
I have seen hardcore spiritual teachers who are loving and inspirational fall into total despair, drunken stupor, try to commit suicide, get seriously sick, or lash out verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically at those around them . Of course, to the students, friends and supporters, abusive behavior comes as a huge shock. And rightly so. No one needs to put up with abuse from anyone. But the question here is, why does this happen?
A few days back, there was a big ritual at the Makah Reservation to honor a team of teenage boys who won a State basketball championship. After the ritual, some of the spirits that had been invoked, stayed around. Psychically it was a bit of a nightmare. A ritual began, carried out and not finished and the energies and spirits were not dismissed. The village got suddenly very crowded. And the spirits and beings who stayed were not of any particular vibration, as everyone was invited in, and so everyone came. The psychic noise got super bad and I started having a hard time of it myself. In fact, I can say that the past week has been a bit of a nightmare.
One spirit in particular insisted we go to a very specific location by the main road and sit and look at something there. He was gentle, well mannered and had a super nice energy. So we said OK, we'll do it.
When we got there, I asked him why we had to sit and be quiet.
This is what he said:
"Before the Change, we all could hear the Earth, each other, the wind, the animals, the trees and plants, the fish and the ocean and every other living being in all worlds (dimensions). After the Change, our ears stopped working. And all we could hear was our own thoughts. Some people could hear a little, but most could not. Those who could hear, needed to be quiet and sit and listen for many hours, or days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months, and be very, very quiet. Then they might hear again. And they would bring what they heard back to their village."
So, they were not in their village? I asked, looking around at the cars and people nearby.
"No. It is very hard to be quiet even when alone, and if other people are around, they make a lot of noise, they want things, they have demands, and they want to talk. You have to go away from the people to be able to hear well."
I noticed he had a rattle which he was shaking in front of him. And he was making soft chanting or toning sounds with his voice.
"The rattle is to scare our thoughts away, and to scare other people's or "demons" voices away too. The song is the tune we start to hear, we make it louder so it drowns out other noises and thoughts."
Last night we drove past the location where he wanted us to sit with him, and he was still there. Sitting on the grass, wrapped in a blanket, his rattle on his lap, looking at the location he wants us to observe.
This is, of course, a subjective experience and a subjective conversation. It happened in my minds eye and ears, and to me it is no different to having a conversation with another human being. But, if it helps, think of it as an exploratory daydream.
The idea of isolating ourselves to do spiritual work is a universal one. Every religion, every culture, will have their spiritual adepts in either isolated clusters outside of the mundane civilian villages and cities, or isolated within the cities and villages with huge unsurmountable walls. Most shamans will spend their time alone in the mountains, forests and other isolated areas. Most monasteries and convents are away from civilization.
So what does all this have to do with nervous breakdowns?
Well, it is not coincidence that religious and spiritual adepts and workers isolate themselves. They do it for their own sanity and protection. We, on the other hand, are going deeply into our own expansion of awareness and ascension without the luxury of isolation and the support that others give by holding space (high energetic frequency vibration in our immediate environment). Instead, we are surrounded by drama, emotional demands, physical demands, work, kids, spouses, projects, neighbors, the news, wars and other tragedies, and people's stuff. A lot of people's stuff. We have to "worry" about making ends meet, paying our rent, navigating our relationships, affording transport to and from work… the list is endless.
This is not something that has been done before. There is no other time in recorded history where millions of individuals began working on their spiritual growth while living and working in the mundane, civilian environment. Yes, people have for thousands of years become "religious" and follow a very strict religious lifestyle, but that is not the same as becoming enlightened or working on our awakening. In the first we give our power away, in the seconds we step into our power. In the first we allow other more spiritual people to give us information and "blessings", in the latter we inwardly and find the information and "blessings" ourselves. Becoming spiritual adepts in a mundane civilian environment creates a big tension of pull and push.
We are strong enough to do it. But, sometimes we are pushed so hard that we lose our grip and fall. So what do we do in those situations?
First of all, we realize that (as the old Buddhist proverb says) "all winters turn to spring". It will pass. Secondly, we need to start observing and making changes in our lifestyle and the demands we make on ourselves. Thirdly, we need to build strong boundaries. Be assertive in what type of interactions we allow in our life. Be kind and thoughtful of our self and our body.
And if while you read this article you identified the red flags in your own life, find time to isolate yourself from your daily routine. If you cannot afford a spiritual retreat (every few months), then certainly book yourself time in nature, or in your altar room where you will not be disturbed for a couple of days per month.
Sometimes we react so strongly to the push and pull that we completely isolate ourselves from everyone around us for weeks, months or even years. Not knowing how to step back into society, relationships or interactions, or even if that's a good idea
Eventually, once we heal from all our previous interactions (lots of tools and articles at ascension101.com to help you do just that), we can step back into the mundane civilian world with a stronger sense of self, energy, boundaries and knowing what type of relationships and co-creations we want to involve ourselves in.
If you feel you are falling into depression, a meltdown or nervous breakdown, avoid alcohol, and consciousness altering drugs, although tempting, this will make things worse at an energetic level (will open doors for negative influences of the mystical kind).
Be kind to yourself, observe this phenomenon, understand why it happens, and also realize that it happens a lot, and we can do something about it.
And one of the things we can do right away is to not give ourselves a hard time, or feel we have failed because we fell into drama, low vibration or suffering for a while.